Fall Envy

Day: 431
High Temp: 86F

For weeks I have felt it building: Fall Envy!  It started with friends commenting on Facebook about the crisp, cool mornings in the Midwest and North East. Then suddenly on TV, in the stores, everywhere really, there were mentions of the upcoming Halloween holiday.  And although it has started to cool down a lot at night (like in the 50s and 60s!) we are still regularly reaching the mid-80's each day. Don't get me wrong, mid-80's is lovely, but it certainly does not satiate my need for Autumn. Not to mention the abundant live oaks won't loose their leaves until spring when the new crop comes in!

The trip back to St Louis for the wedding was a nice opportunity to get a little Fall fix. The leaves had started to change, the air was unarguably crisp and cool enough to contemplate warm drinks and pumpkins. But it just wasn't enough. Now that I have been back for over a week, I am missing Fall just as much as I was a month ago.

It is really making me miss my old neighborhood in Chicago, Lincoln Square.  Fall was made for that neighborhood! The maples would sport bright yellow leaves that looked positively magical at night backlit by street lamps. All the little kids running around the square would have traded their crocks and shorts for tiny little hoodies, and cute beanie hats. On a Sunday morning, I would convince myself it was still warm enough to eat brunch outside at Cafe Selmarie, so long as I had a hot chai latte in my hands. Each yard would be filled with fallen leaves spilling onto the sidewalk, and they would crunch so satisfyingly underfoot on my way to the train. By that evening, on my way home, those same leaves would have been crushed mostly to dust, leaving space for the new leaves that would surely continue to fall over night.

I truly miss it so much, but there is a revelation in this missing.  This missing does not feel bitter, and it is not angry. It is a sweet longing, a memory, and not at the expense of what Austin is. It's liberating to look back on my memories of so many Autumn in Chicago, and not hate Austin for keeping that from me. And while I cant say that I don't want to be back there some day, I am awfully happy to be enjoying Austin so much more fully than I was this time last year.